


Finish Line

by Delluu



Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, Alcohol, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Cheating, College, Destiel - Freeform, F/M, Fluff, Law, M/M, Roadhouse, Self-Hatred, slow build up
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-01-18
Updated: 2014-05-30
Packaged: 2018-01-09 02:54:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1140596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Delluu/pseuds/Delluu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean Winchester has just returned back home to Kansas city with his fiance, Lisa. On the surface, Dean has the perfect life but deep down he knows there is something wrong. An unconformable first day in KU and even worse meeting with Dr. Castiel Novak, Dean's boss. Dean is happy to go home after a horrible day, only to find out shocking truth about his relationship with Lisa which leads Dean to promise never to fall in love again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Let me go

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys. This is my first fan fiction. I have done just one chapter at the moment so let me know if you like it and if I should continue doing it. :) I have couple of ideas where I want to go with it. So, please give me some feedback.

  
_You are my first love_  
 _Trust me I have tried_  
 _But now I know I need to go_  
 _Just spread my wings and fly_

Kesha- Let Me Go

 

 

It is a beautiful Monday morning. It had been like any other day. It started off with Dean waking up to smell of coffee from the kitchen. It was the smell that he loved. Slowly, he would stretch himself and throw the covers off of him. He was wearing pair of dark, deep, blue PJ bottoms. It was mid-September.  Every morning was getting that little bit of colder. Soon he would have to wear a t-shirt with the bottoms, Dean thought to himself.  “Dean, Come on I know you are awake” came a sultry voice from the kitchen. It made Dean smile. He slowly sat on the side of the bed and held his head. Dean stood up and let the right hand go through his hair. Walking unsteadily, he opened the bedroom door to the living room and there she was, looking at him, smiling. Her smile captivated Dean. Her black hair smoothly went down to her shoulders. “Coffee is ready and the pancakes should be done in a second”. There was something in her voice that made Dean fall in love with her even more. Dean walked over to the woman, kissed her on the cheeks and in a low voice, the words “I Love you, Lisa” left Dean’s lips.

                The light, warm and bright autumn’s day was slowly pushed aside by the dark and intensive clouds. As Dean walked through the parking lot he could see how the sky was starting protest against the sun rays. It was his first day at the university. He had been lecturing in another university but it was time for change, for both, him and Lisa. They were both in their early thirties and it was time to get serious. That’s how Dean made the decision to propose to Lisa six months ago. Not long after that came the decision to move back home, Kansas City. This is where Dean and Lisa grew up and that’s exactly what they wanted for their kids.

                It was ten o’clock and it was time for Dean to head for class. He could feel the nervousness kick in. He has done this many times, he has given lectures before but for some reason this time, he was nervous. As Dean pushed the wooden door open with force he could see a lecture hall with about 200 law undergrads in it. Steadily placing his laptop bag on the chair and taking a big breath to calm him down, he looked around and studied the room. Some were still talking, some were just looking at him and then there were some that were whispering “he is hot”. This drew a little smirk on Dean’s face and gave him the much needed confidence. “Hello! My name is Dean Winchester.  I am your lecturer for criminal law for this semester.  I know your timetable says that Dr. Castiel Novak is supposed to take you for this module but there has been a little change. “

                After the first class Dean went back to his office feeling satisfied. He did well. It wasn’t that bad; if anything then it was the biggest confidence boost in a very long time. This brought a hint of sadness to Dean. Why had it been long? Everything in Dean’s life was perfect. Perfect woman, perfect job, perfect baby called 1967 Chevy Impala. Maybe the fact that everything was perfect was the problem but Dean thought to himself if he was going to put perfection into a problem file then he should be lock into a psychiatric unit. It didn’t matter what he did, he could not shake the feeling of something is very wrong. Walking into his office, shaking his head and giving a loud sigh Dean sat on his chair holding his head with his hands. A loud groan came from the back of the throat and he shot his head up. He was not going to let the self pity take control and he did have important things to do, like finding who and where is Castiel Novak.

                Castiel Novak was a man in mid thirties, tall, very handsome, dark hair and bright blue eyes. At least this is the description he got when Dean asked another professor, Jo what Dr. Novak looked like.

“I mean seriously, he is one hot piece of ass. Doesn’t leave a girls heart cold. “ said Jo while looking over her shoulder and winking at Dean. Jo had long blond hair and she was wearing a pencil skirt which structured out her perfect figure. Dean was first fooled by her elegant look but very soon learned that under her sweet look, there lies a fierce and unbreakable girl.

“Huh-huh” was all that Dean had to say to Jo’s remarks. “But seriously, where can I find the man?”

Jo stared at Dean and gave him a warm smile. “Well... He is a head of Law Department, so I guess you find him at his office which reads Head of Law Department.” Jo turned away and poured herself another cup of coffee. She turned back trying to hide the smirk behind the coffee cup. Dean rolled his eyes and started walking away. “You find him at his office which reads Head of Law department.” said Dean to himself into his own breath.

                Dean walked through the cold stone corridors what seemed like hours, trying to find Head of Law Department. Finally, he did find it. He could feel the nervous energy kicking in again. He knocked on the door and walked in as he heard a voice say “Come in”. The office had many certifications on the wall and was filled with bookshelves. He studied the books intensely until his eyes met with the other man. And wow... Jo was right, they were very bright blue. The man also had stubble which only suggested that he hasn’t shaved for couple of days. Dean’s thought process was interrupted as the other man spoke.

“How can I help you, mister?” the man said in a low and intense voice.

“Ouh yes... uhm... I’m Dean Winchester and I’m new to the university and I am teaching one of your classes, criminal law. So, I was wondering if I could look at your module layout before I make the final decision on how to go on about the module?” Dean didn’t know why but he felt very nervous around the man. Castiel’s eyes were fixed on Dean which made him even more unconformable.

“Of course, yes. Dean Winchester. I was supposed to come and find you anyways. I’m Castiel Novak. You can call me Castiel if you want to. So, tell me how are you settling in Mr. Winchester? “

“It’s been good” The words got lost in Dean’s throat. Usually, he would have no problem starting a conversation or keeping one going but today, around this man, he could feel how the room got hotter and hotter. The man reached out for a folder that was one of the bookshelves and placed it front of where Dean was standing.

“There you go. There are all my notes. I’ll send the rest to your email if that’s OK with you?” Castiel’s eyes left Dean and focused on the paper front of him.

“Thank you and I might see you around, maybe.” said Dean as he was grabbing the folder and making sure that he left the office as fast as possible. As he was walking out he could hear Castiel saying bye to him. All Dean could think was, what the hell did just happen? He shook his head; looked at the time and realised it was time to go to his next lecture.

                When Dean got back to the apartment, he was glad that he can leave this day behind and in few minutes he can see his beautiful fiancé. The rain was pouring down and Dean had to run fast to make sure he wouldn’t get soaked. He paced up the stairs and once he made it to the apartment door, he opened it with a hurry. Lisa was sitting on the sofa and looked worried. Dean didn’t pay much attention to Lisa as he put his bag and the folder in the kitchen table.

“You wouldn’t believe the day I had. Talk about weird or what?” Dean let out a big sigh and turned to Lisa “Hi sweetie. How was your day?” This is when Dean noticed that Lisa had something on her mind. She didn’t greet him with a kiss and a smile. She didn’t ask Dean how his day was, she was just sitting on the couch and it looked like she had been crying. Before Dean could ask her what was wrong, Lisa slurred out the heartbreaking words.

“Dean, I am so sorry.” Dean could see Lisa’s eyes filling with tears and her voice breaking. “Last week while you were still in New York, I met my ex boyfriend and one thing lead to another...” Before Lisa could finish the sentence, Dean grabbed his bag and a folder and left the apartment, refusing to hear what comes next. He could feel the anger filling his stomach to the point that made him physically sick. Part of him knew that he was over reacting but he needed to get out. Dean ran to his car, grabbed the steering wheel and started hitting it as hard as he could, while letting out a loud scream. Once he calmed down, for the third time today, Dean held his head in his hands. How stupid was he that he could even think for a second that his life was perfect. This was the moment Dean swore that he would never fall in love again.  


	2. The Roadhouse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the betrayal of Lisa, Dean decides that the right action is to consume endless amount of alcohol. While under the influence of alcohol Dean's trail of conversations leads to confusion to one of the closest people in Dean's life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for good feedback. Let me know what you guys think of this chapter :)

 

 

 

_On a shameless night_   
_In a nameless place_   
_I thought that love was a hopeless case_

_Lived a wasteful life in a hateful city_   
_The world's no love just pain and pity_

_Britney Spears-Till I Found You_

 

 

                Dean kept driving aimlessly, probably over the speed limit but he was too concerned with his thoughts. Part of him didn’t care if he crashed, if he got hurt badly or if he died. He just kept driving. The rain hitting the windscreen and the wipers having trouble removing all the water. Dean could only just, see out of the windscreen.  Dean kept driving and driving until he saw a red flashing sign which said Roadhouse. He knew exactly what to do next. He pulled over into the parking lot, threw his coat over his head and ran through the rain into the Roadhouse. The Roadhouse was nearly empty. All fairness it was Monday night and all sensible people were at home, on the couch with their loved ones, watching some sort of cop TV show. Dean sat at the bar ordering double shot of Black Label. It was gone as fast as the bartender put it there. It was then Dean realised he didn’t recognise the bartender. He knew the place. It was owned by Ellen and Bobby. He used to work here when he was younger. He had so many good memories here.

                With no familiar face in sight, Dean pulled out his phone and dialled speed number 2. It rang for few seconds and then a voice that said “Hello” came audible from the other side.

“Sammy, tell me this, have I gotten anything completely right or do I always fail?”

“Dean! What’s going on? Are you OK?” said the worried voice. The voice belonged to Sam Winchester. Sam was Dean’s younger brother and till this day Sam looked up to Dean. Dean was one of the main reasons Sam went to Harvard Law. He wanted to be exactly like his big, cool older brother. Unfortunately for Sam he was always known as the nerd. Whatever he did, he was never able to shake the nerdy image off.    

“Ohh.. I’m just FINE” Dean raised his voice. “I’ve never been better. I mean you for some reason always idealise me but the truth is I’m a fuck up. I can’t even satisfy my own girl. Fuck.” Dean’s voice slowly traced off and Sam could hear the lump in his throat.

“Where are you, man? I bet you are at the Roadhouse. I will be there in a few.”

“No. Don’t come. I don’t want to ruin your perfect life with my problems”

“Shut up, jerk. I’m going to ring Ellen now so, you stay put and don’t move until I get there. Got it?” Sam’s voice traced a little worry and anger.

“Whatever, bitch” Dean hung up the phone. As he was putting the phone down he ordered another double shot of Black Label and downed it. He could feel how the effects of the whisky started to come to the surface. His hands became bit shaky, his vision bit blurred and his voice bit slowed. When Dean quit starring at the empty whisky glass and looked up, he could see Ellen who was smiling at him.

“I’ve told you this before and I’ll tell you again, if you get too wasted I’m going to dunk your sweet little sorry ass out of here and I don’t care it’s raining. “

“Yes. Another” Dean pushed the empty glass towards Ellen. Ellen looked at it, took the glass and put it into tray where all the other dirty glasses were. Dean was about to protest when Ellen pulled out two bottles of beer.

“You’ve had enough of the strong stuff for tonight. Time to slow down there buddy.” Said Ellen as she was opening the two bottles front of her. “These two are on me and please, take care of yourself, Dean” Ellen’s gaze was worried until her eyes were focused somewhere else, “Right. See you” for a second Dean was confused until he felt a hand on his back.

“Right, talk to me. What is going on?” Dean had trouble focusing on the mystery man but once he did manage to focus, he realised Sammy was beside him. He almost could feel all the worry lifted off of him. He tried to hug Sammy but somehow lost his step.

“Alright there. Let’s try not standing and try bit more sitting” Sam smiled. Dean could’ve sworn that Sam had grown another inch. He was a giant.

                Dean poured his heart out. He told Sam everything that happened at work, the nervousness and the awkward interaction with Castiel. Sam noticed that Dean seemed to focus on Castiel quite a lot. Dean’s description of people usually included something like that “Blue eyes, dark hair and yai big” but when Dean described Castiel, it was something different.

“Ooohh Sammy. You should have seen his office. I mean who has that many books. Let me tell you who. Nerds. He’s a nerd. He is a little annoying nerd like you. And you should have seen his face. I mean come on, shave much? And his eyes, definitely contacts. No way they are really that blue. I call his bullshit. And then, there was this way he talked to me. Asking questions and all, do you think he is gay?” Sam was taken off guard. He was beyond surprised that Dean had pinpointed everything about this dude. In fact, Sam couldn’t believe how much attention Dean had paid. Dean’s attention span usually wouldn’t pass over 5 seconds, let alone know details about if the person has shaved or not. Before Sam could answer Dean in confusion, Dean stroked his chin and said the following.

“Do you think he’s going out with someone? As in very non sexual way, he is an alright looking guy.” Now Dean had Sam’s full attention. Sam was eager to find out where was all this going. Why the hell did Dean care if some guy was gay or in a relationship?

Dean spent another 5 minutes complaining about how Castiel had talked to him, how the tone of his voice was like a machine, how ignorant the guy was and how much he hated him. When Dean finished complaining about Castiel, Dean told everything that had happened at the apartment.

“Dean, I am so sorry. “ Sam was about to ask if Dean was alright but was interrupted by Dean.

“I mean do you think he has read all the books in his office cause there were lot of books. It was like a book cave” Dean smiled to himself. Confusion wasn’t even going to explain what Sam was feeling.

“If you love him so much then go kiss him and make sweet, sweet love.” said Sam with humour in his voice.

“Dude, seriously, I’m not gay” Dean gave Sam a dirty look. Sam laughed out loud.

“Yeah right”

                It was getting late and Ellen had thrown both, Sam and Dean out of Roadhouse. Sam drove Dean to his place. At first Dean refused Sam’s help to get up the stairs but it was quite clear to Sam if he didn’t help they would never reach the second floor. Once they were in Sam’s enormous apartment which he shared with his girlfriend Jess, Sam ordered Dean to the guest room and to bed. Dean complied. He waited until the apartment was dead quiet with the intention to go to kitchen and get any alcoholic drink he could find, but surprisingly Dean fell asleep. At 4 am Dean opened his eyes, confused about the location and his head spinning. Once he did realise where he was, he got up to finish his intended plan only to realise Sam kitchen was no alcohol zone. Dean sighed, took his coat and left the apartment.

When Dean finally got some sort of cheap whisky from a corner shop, he downed half of the bottle in one go. His reasoning for doing so was that it was very frosty outside and he needed the warmth. He sat on a wooden bench when the realisation dawned on him that he has to be presentable at noon for work. “Fuck” muttered Dean. Dean looked at his phone and it said 6:07 am. As Dean was ready to get up he heard a familiar voice. “Dean”. He recognised the voice. “Fuck” muttered Dean to himself again.

“Hi Castiel, beautiful morning, isn’t it?” Dean tried to avoid eye contact to hide the mess he was.

“It is beautiful indeed. I always enjoy the mornings. I find that they give me a new perspective. “All Dean could think was how the hell was this guy so chatty at 6 in the morning.

“You out here for a morning run too?” asked Castiel while examining Dean. When Dean raised his head, their eyes met. Castiel eyes were even bluer then back in the office yesterday. He had his eyebrow raised and a warm smile on his face. He was wearing blue tracksuit bottoms and a blue hoodie which had the sleeves rolled up.

“No, no I’m just here, you know, admiring the view and whatnot.” lied Dean. Castiel looked over the direction of the view. The view consisted of a bus station and row of shops. The man sat beside Dean and they shared few minutes of silence.

“When things get over my head then I like to admire the view too, but I’m more of a beach view type.” Castiel looked at Dean but Dean refused to look back.

“I would be attempted to jump off the pier at the beach” the words just shot out of Dean. He didn’t mean to share that much with the man. He already regretted what he said. It made Dean embarrassed. Dean was completely sure that Castiel must think he is a complete nutcase with inability to hold a conversation and with suicidal thoughts.

“That bad, huh?” the man stood up and started jogging in place. “Go home, get a shower, take couple of painkillers, go to bed, wake up, take more painkillers, have breakfast and show up. Let no stranger know that you are having a tough time. Don’t forget to smile and you will see that your days will improve.” What is this guy, inspiration speaker, no wonder he was thrown out of criminal law, Dean thought to himself. He wasn’t broken and sure as hell he didn’t need some pretty boy with deep blue eyes to tell him what he needed to do. He could hear Castiel letting out a laugh.

“Not good at taking advice I guess. Well I gotta go. I have an 8 am class but I will check up on you later to make sure you’re still breathing.” Dean could see Castiel running off.

“Yeah, whatever weirdo” said Dean to himself. Why does Castiel affect him as much as he does? Dean could feel how his stomach was turning and his head was pounding. The hangover was here and it was going to be a bad one. That’s what you get for drinking on a Monday night. Dean stood up and started walking back to Sam’s place and all he could think was how hard the day was going to be, with the occasional blue eyed man invading his mind.


	3. Tik Tik Boom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the regretful binge drink on Monday night Dean is left to feel hungover with classes to teach. Course of that day, Dean learns things about Castiel that he wish he hadn't. Also, Jo has few secrets up in her sleeve. On Friday, when all secrets are out Dean decides to let it all out, but fortunately or unfortunately leaving him in a heated situation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for such positive feedback. I'm going to try to post at least one chapter a week and please keep the feedback coming :)

  
_You've got a sex siren in your face_   
_Let me get upon it._   


_Tik Tik  Boom- Britney Spears_

 

 

 

By the time Dean got to the university, his head had stopped bounding and he didn’t feel nauseous anymore. Dean thanked every God he could think of for strong painkillers. Walking through the corridors of KU his mind was back on what an idiot he is. How could he leave Lisa alone in the apartment, how could he not listen to her side of the story and why the hell when something goes wrong he always goes to the whiskey bottle? What’s done is done and he cannot take any of it back now. Dean massaged the bridge of his nose between his eyes as he was walking into his Criminal Law class. To his disappointment the attendance was too high to cancel the class so he did what he had to, lecture the class.

 

 ‘Rough night, Deano.’ gloated Jo. Today she was wearing a black dress that hugged her body just in the right places, like yesterday’s skirt. Dean got lost in the perfect figure and some very inappropriate things came into his mind.

 

‘Do you want me to snap your neck like a twig or what?’

 

‘Yeah, rough night it was.’ Dean snapped out of his daydream and diverted the conversation anywhere else that didn’t involve Jo breaking his neck. Jo had always had a crush on Dean but when Dean started dating Lisa things changed. Jo had never liked Lisa for reasons unknown. When Lisa and Dean moved to New York, Jo refused to visit them even when her parents, Ellen and Bobby, came for New Years Eve in 2008. When Dean proposed to Lisa, things got even worse. At this stage Jo completely refused to talk to Dean.Things got better when Dean announced that he got a job at KU and that they were moving back to Kansas City.

 

‘I heard. What had you so worked up that couldn’t wait till Friday night?’ Dean could see curiosity eating at Jo but the last thing Dean wanted was to tell Jo that Lisa had been unfaithful and now their happy-ever-after wasn’t going to happen.

 

‘Nothing that would interest you, sweetheart.’ winked Dean

 

‘Trouble in paradise?’ asked Jo very carefully but before Dean could answer the staff door flung open.

 

‘God damn it. The wind is really picking up. The forecast says that it’s going to be a pretty bad storm.’ A voice came in that sounded like gravel. Dean tensed up. He corrected his tie and made sure he looked as good as he can.

 

‘That’s what happens when all the doors and windows are opened.’ said Jo, then walked over to the window and closed the window.

 

‘There you go, sir. Should be better now.’ Dean couldn’t hide his surprise. Jo was nervous. She never called anyone sir and her voice kept breaking throughout the 3 sentences she spoke. Dean, also notice the way she played with her hands. She was uncomfortable. This was the first time Dean had seen Jo nervous. Jo was always the type that the town boys were scared of. Even when Jo had a crush on Dean, she would flirt fiercely to show her affection.

 

‘Thank you, Jo.’ and Jo’s face lit up.Jo looked at Dean and raised on of her eyebrows and gave him a wicked smile. It looked like Jo was proud of what she had accomplished. Dean looked at the man who looked even better today. The man turned around and the flash of blue just glimpsed over Dean. Dean was lost. Castiel wasn’t wearing a suit today. Instead he was wearing black trousers and a cream jumper with sleeves rolled up. Dean could see the white and black striped shirts’ collar underneath the cream jumper. The lighter colours brought out Castiel’s tanned skin tone. To top it all of Castiel was wearing his perfect smile accompanied by a dark stubble. All Dean could think of was how he would want to pull off the jumper and rip the shirt off, leaving him to admire the view. Suddenly Dean could feel the room getting hotter and hotter. He felt a twitch in his own pants but Dean couldn’t control it and in fairness, at this very moment, he couldn’t care less. He would much rather slowly undo the belt and the buttons of Castiel pants. Then Dean closed his eyes to perfectly draw out the scenario. Him touching Castiel and Castiel moaning out loud. That would be perfect. Castiel giving him….

 

‘Are you alright Dean? How’s the head anyways? Did you do what I told you to do this morning?’ Dean’s eyes spun open. He could feel the embarrassment coming on. He looked at Jo who looked slightly confused not being able to put all the pieces together.

 

‘Yeah….uhmm…yes’ stumbled Dean not knowing what was wrong with him. Jo looked at Dean one more time with confusion.

 

‘Alright then I have to go. My class is waiting on me. See you Dean’ Jo looked at Dean and mouthed out the words ‘What is wrong with you’ with a huge smile. She turned around.

 

‘Bye Castiel.’

 

‘Bye Jo.’ said Castiel. ‘Are you sure you are alright? You look very ill.’ Castiel was pouring himself a cup of coffee.

 

All Dean could think of was, act cool and don’t let him know that you nearly had a full blown sexual fantasy about the dude and nearly got a hard on.

 

‘I’m fine. It’s all my fault anyway. Self inflicted.’ said Dean and he was surprised how calmly he spoke those words.

 

‘That’s good to hear. Even though you do look very ill. Maybe you should just go home and sleep it off, self inflicted or not.’ Dean couldn’t figure out why was this stranger that he met just yesterday so nice to him. What did he do to deserve such nice treatment? And there it was. As Castiel was sitting down and sipping on his coffee Dean could see s shiny object decorating the man’s left ring finger. He is married. Dean couldn’t figure out why would something like this hurt him. He’s known Castiel only for a day but he did nearly fantasise about him. Still, this wasn’t good enough reason to be jealous of his wife or husband. Dean needed to find more information about this subject.

 

‘So, who’s the lucky lady?’ said Dean safely, looking at the ring.

 

‘Ou’ smiled Castiel ‘ Meg. That’s her name. We’ve been married for five years now. Known her for ten. We are planning to have kids very soon.’ Dean could feel how every bone in his body was being crushed by every word. The beautiful man is married, wife, a kid. What else?

 

‘You happy?’ Dean tried to keep his face cool. Hide the disappointment.

 

‘Couldn’t be happier to be honest.’smiled Castiel but as each word passed the smile faded and the man was looking at Dean with intensity ‘Sometimes life is funny.’  Dean did not know what Castiel was talking about but whatever it was it didn’t matter because Castiel was looking at him with need. The two men started each other for awhile until Castiel broke the staring contest, shook his head and smiled.

 

‘Life does have a weird sense of humour, Cas.’ said Dean just to fill the silence.

 

‘Cas? My mother calls me Cas’ the man laughed out loud. Dean was in horror. That was the last thing Dean wanted, to Castiel associate Dean with his mother. But despite the horror Dean laughed.  

 

‘Shouldn’t you be in class?’ said Cas while still laughing.

 

‘Damn it. Yes. Thanks Cas’ said Dean looking at his watch. ‘Sorry, Castiel’ correcting his mistake.

 

‘Cas is fine. Just call me Cas’ the man looked at Dean, yet again with the same hungry eyes.

 

‘Well as you wish, CAS’ focusing intensely on the man’s shorted version of the name. Leaving Castiel to roll his eyes. Both men laughed and Dean left for his lecture.   

 

The rest of the day had been usual. Classes, organising, talking to students and talking to Jo.  When Dean finally met Jo again that day, he quizzed Jo about the weird nervous act around Castiel. Jo openly admitted to have a major crush on the man but unfortunately thats all it was going to be.

 

‘I cannot believe it. All the good ones are either engaged or married’ said Jo with the intention to make Dean unconfirmable and it did work.

‘Haha’ Dean let out a fake laugh. Dean asked more about the man. Jo had done a quite a good research project on him.

 

‘Well as far as I know the dude graduated from Yale law school, has a rich family and been working here for couple of years.’

 

‘Why isn’t he a lawyer then?’ asked Dean.

 

‘I don’t know. Go ask him’ Jo rolled her eyes with annoyance.

 

‘What else do you know about him?’ Dean was eager to know more about Cas.

 

‘Why?’ Jo eyed Dean suspiciously.

 

‘Well, a guy who can make you into a 12 year old school girl. I wanna know what this guy has?’ Dean came up with a quick lie.

 

‘So you wanna know what Castiel Novak has and what you don’t.’ Jo laughed out loud making Dean to pull a face. ‘Well, alright then. He grew up in California. Had a big family. Bunch of brothers and sisters. Don’t know what happened to them but Castiel went to Yale. A while back one of Castiel’s brothers visited him here, Gabriel. He told me that he was sure that Castiel would die alone in his house made of books with 12 cats accompany him. Apparently he was the biggest nerd going but don’t think that surprises anybody knowing that the dude graduated Yale law school. To actually think about it, he is completely opposite to you. You used to be this bad boy persona while Castiel used to be a cute nerdy boy. I’ll take a nerdy boy anyday over an asshole.’ Jo was laughing again.

 

‘Alright I get it. I’m the bad guy and Cas is the angel. Is that right?’ Dean once again rolled his eyes.

 

‘Cas? You call him Cas? Since when are you two on nickname bases? I’ve worked here for three years and I call him sir?’ Dean couldn’t see if that was annoyance, anger or jealousy in Jo’s face.

 

‘What’s the problem, Jo? You think I’m going to snatch your boy up.’ Dean said jokingly.

 

‘Haha, very funny Dean Winchester but it is unfair. Double standards big time.’

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

The rest of the week went by quietly. Dean did not see Cas but secretly hoping that he would. Dean also moved out of the apartment he shared with Lisa and temporarily moved into Sam’s guest room. Dean let Lisa explain her side of the story but she told Dean nothing he already didn’t know. Dean refused to say much to Lisa claiming that he needed more time to think about things. The truth was that he didn’t need more time. Dean didn’t want to hurt Lisa but in the end Dean didn’t know if telling a white lie would really help. By Friday Dean had moved all his belongings out of the apartment.

 

‘I need a drink.’ said Dean simply.

 

‘Roadhouse?’ asked Sam.

 

‘Do you guys ever go anywhere else?’ Jessica popped her head out of the bedroom she shared with Sam. Her smile was warm. She walked out of the bedroom, all dressed up.

 

‘Wow. Look at you. My brother is one lucky fella.’

 

‘Isn’t he?’ giggled Jessica, leaving a kiss on Sam’s lips.

 

‘So, what’s the occasion?’ Dean was curious.

 

‘The girls thought we should just have fun’ Jessica gave Dean yet again another warm smile. ‘I’m off. Kate is waiting for me. I love you, Sam.’ giving him another kiss on the lips, leaving Dean in a very awkward position.

 

‘I love you too. See you later.’ In the distance Dean heard Jess saying her goodbyes to both of them.

 

‘Shall we go?’ said Sam to Dean. Dean just stood up, grabbed his coat and was signalling Sam to leave the apartment.

 

Few hours later and many beers later,both brothers were wasted. The spirits were high. Suddenly, Dean felt like someone punched him in the arm.

 

‘Really Dean. Nothing I would be interested in.’ the minute Dean heard the voice he knew it belonged to Jo. ‘The bitch cheated on you. I knew she would do this. Do you want me to kill her. I could kill her you know?’ shot of fear burst into Dean. Jo could do it and she would.

 

‘Don’t be ridiculous. I’m fine. You’re overreacting.’ Dean didn’t know what he was saying as long as it was something and made sense.   

 

‘Ahhhhhhh I hate the bitch.’ Jo let out a scream. Thankfully it was Friday night and the Roadhouse was filled with people and their shatter.

 

‘I always wanted to ask you. Why? Why didn’t you like her?’ Dean thought this would be the perfect moment to question Jo about the hatred towards Lisa. Even though Dean was quite sure he will not remember this tomorrow morning.

 

‘I just don’t. No reason.’

 

‘No reason,huh? You cannot hate someone purely because you just do.’ said Sam.

 

‘Yes you can, watch me.’ Jo was determined to win this debate. Dean knew that this was going to be a very long conversation and decided to leave before either of them dragged him into the pointless debate.

Dean was trying to get to the bathroom but the people in the Roadhouse just kept getting in the way.

 

‘Ow’ cried Dean. Some jerk just nearly knocked him out. Dean turned his head ready to fight the man when he noticed that it was Cas.

 

‘Sorry Dean. Some jerk just pushed me.’

 

‘Hi there, gorgeou’ Dean stopped thinking about the word that nearly came out of his mouth. ‘Man’ Dean corrected himself hoping that Cas did not notice.

 

‘Gorgeous man.’ Dean could hear Cas laugh and Dean could also feel how his face was turning red. ‘Thank you’ said Cas and laughed even louder now.

 

‘You’ve had one too many. Don’t worry I will not remind you of this’ Dean could hear the formality in Cas’s voice. Even sexier. Dean just wanted to fuck him. Plain and simple. Dean tugged his hand into Cas’s shirt and pulled him into him. Cas’s face was surprised or was it horror. Dean couldn’t tell. He just kept looking into Cas’s eyes. So blue and beautiful. The other man’s breath was touching Dean’s lips and at this moment, Dean’s world stopped. Slowly, Dean moved his hips closer to Cas’ hips. Cas closed his eyes and Dean felt a gush of breath on his skin. Dean tugged his face into Cas’ neck. Slowly laying kisses on the skin.

 

‘Dean, you are too drunk.’ Castiel was pushing Dean away from him, Dean trying to resist as much as possible. ‘How about I’ll take you home?’ said Castiel into Dean’s ear.

 

Once the two men were in the parking lot, Dean started to move closer to Castiel again. Castiel was determined to keep some sort of distance between the two but Dean could swear that he saw bulge in Castiel pants.

 

‘Cas sweetie.’ Dean heard some woman screaming. Cas let Dean fall onto his car while turning around himself. Once the woman reached Castiel, she kissed the man on the lips. This must be Meg, Dean thought to himself. I hate her, adding this statement to his thought process.

 

‘Where are you going?’ Smiled the woman. Dean couldn’t make out anything about the woman except that she was one big blur.

 

‘I’m going to make sure my friend get’s home safe. He has had too many drinks. I’ll be back sweetheart.’ Dean wanted to vomit. There is no way she was a sweetheart. ‘ You have fun, ok!’

 

‘Ok, baby. There are only five of us left. Jess already took off with her man’ the woman smiled. Jess knows Meg. Dean now knows where to get the goss about Meg. Unless it is not the same Jess.

 

‘I love you. I’ll be back soon. I’ll text you.’ said Cas.

 

‘I love you too.’ Meg said. Next thing these two were in a deep kiss. All Dean could do was sit there on the car awkwardly. When did he become the third wheel while his crush was making out with someone else? Something was wrong with the universe. Castiel broke the kiss.

 

‘Alright Dean. Let’s get you home.’ Castiel’s voice was even sexier than ever before and all Dean could think was how much he wanted the man.

 


	4. Suprise

             

  
_All I want, All I want is right here_   
_But love don't live here anymore_   
_(Love is dead, love is gone, love don't live here anymore)_   


Kerli-Love is Dead

 

 

  It was a sunny Monday morning and the memories of Friday night kept flashing in Dean’s mind. Getting worse every time. What on God’s name did possess Dean to act the way he did. He was mortified. He was trying to keep his head down and try to avoid Cas at all costs. Unfortunately, faith had other plans.

“Morning Dean” the rough sound rumbled through Dean’s ears. Dean was starting to panic. What do you do or say after hitting on your boss who happens to be happily married. While letting thoughts occupy his mind, Dean decided to not acknowledge Cas. Maybe if he ignored the problem long enough it will just disappear. Despite deciding to keep his mouth shut and fingers to himself, he couldn’t resist a peak at him. Slowly, he turned his head to see Cas. Perfect as always with a warm smile. In fact, everything about him was warm and welcoming. Usually the man’s eyes would be intense and ready to strike. Today, they were smiling.

“How was your head on Saturday?” the man still kept his warm expression.

“Well, let me tell you, it wasn’t so great.” Dean decided to answer. After all ignoring a question can be seen a bit rude. “Look man, I’m sorry about what I did and a… umm... you know.” Dean could feel how his whole head was going to explode from embarrassment.

“No worries but for future references, do try to remind yourself that I am married.”

“What if you weren’t?” though Dean out loud. This was the moment he would have wanted to crawl out of his skin. If it was only possible. So much about trying to ignore the whole thing.

“That’s a very good question.” Smiled the other man and then he stopped. Castiel looked up in the sky and smiled like an idiot. Dean didn’t know what to think but all he knew was that, in this most embarrassing situation that he has ever been in, he wasn’t the weirdest one. “Dean, I’m going to be a father.” Said Castiel in a very exciting tone. Castiel was laughing, he let himself fall a bit forward and continued walking. Dean looked after him with a faked smile.

“I’m sorry, Dean but I had to tell someone. I’m just way too excited.” Castiel was turned around to face Dean and kept walking backwards. “I mean, we tried for so long and had given up hope and now” Dean could hear a little squeak leaving the other man’s throat.

“Congrads man, happy for you” said Dean as he was touching Cas’ shoulder. Castiel was going to be a father. Castiel had a life that Dean had always wanted. A home, career, wife and couple of kids. He was happy for the man but couldn’t help but to be a little bit heartbroken. Dean’s crush was living the American Dream while Dean’s own American Dream had just shattered exactly a week ago. Self-loathing had become Dean’s daily part and it looked like today it had arrived early. He could see how happy Cas was. He was still hysterically smiling and swaying side to side like a little kid himself. Castiel gave Dean a little nod before walking to right to another part of the law building.

 Dean just stood there. Looking at Castiel and his perfect sex hair from the back. His laptop bag was bouncing off his perfectly shaped ass. All Dean could think was how stupid he was to think that a married man would cheat on his wife with him. He had his hopes but in reality he never thought they would come true. His wife was worth million bucks while he maybe at his best, would be worth a penny. And right there and then, Dean swore that love was stupid and he was never going to fall in love. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys. So sorry for the long break. I have so much college stuff to do so I've been busy. Also, I decided to make my chapters bit shorter. I find it easier that way and maybe this way I can post more frequently. So let me know what you think and if any improvements can be made or if you have any suggestions for future chapters. :) Thank you all :)


	5. Truth

                Dean pushed the heavy door open and felt the crispy air. The autumn weather was finally here. It had been warm for strangely long time. The leaves were slowly turning golden and some had fallen to the ground, making the walk to his baby even more magical. Dean needed something magical in his life desperately, and that was just it. It was small and would be gone very soon, but Dean was used to it. Every piece of magic Dean ever laid his eyes on or touched disappeared into the wind very quickly. Dean’s thoughts, yet again, drifted to Lisa. Bit over a month ago he had a fiancé who he loved, a home and a new beginning. It was supposed to be a new beginning, a start, and bring his life into the perfect fairy tale. Dean was never into fairy tales but secretly wished for one. That dream was snatched away from him. The American dream was gone and he didn’t have the motivation to restart the journey.

                Dean opened the doors for the Impala. Reverend the engine and stepped on the gas. He was eager to get home to Sam and Jess. He still didn’t have his own apartment. Part of him was glad because this way he wouldn’t have to go to an empty place. He had at least something to look forward to at the end of the day. Also, Jess could cook. Jess’ pies were one of the best, what more could he want. So, he drove until he reached Sam’s apartment. Dean climbed up the stairs, instead of using the lift and unlocked the door. To his surprise Jess was already at home in the kitchen.

“Hi, Dean. I’m making pork chops for dinner. Should be done in half an hour.” Jess smiled at Dean. Her smile was so warm and welcoming. Dean wasn’t sure how Jess felt about him staying with them. She had always been welcoming and never said anything. Instead she was the one to help Dean get out of him misery.

Dean remembered how the first week of the break up with Lisa was OK but after that, it got bad. He always though low of himself but after Cas’s news about becoming a father Dean spiralled out of control. Constant drinking, late for work, missing classes and whatnot. Everybody at work were feeling sorry for him, even Jo was giving him a sympathetic look. Dean hated it. He didn’t need the pity but once the pity was from Cas, Dean knew he had to do something. He wasn’t meant to find out about Cas’ worry but he just happened to walk in while Cas an Jo were talking.

“His been missing classes, Jo. I don’t want to say anything but if it continues I have to do something.”

“I know Sir, but you see, Dean has been through a rough patch lately and his feeling it.”

“I am well aware of Dean’s problems regarding to his engagement and I feel for him. I really do. I’ve had problems in my marriage but you cannot bring these things to work. And as his boss I have to do something. Even when it’s a pep talk because I can’t have him missing class or being late. It’s the students I’m worried about. They are complaining. Once this gets to Zachariah it’s my ass on the line.”

                At this point Dean knew that he had to pull himself together or he could lose the only thing he had, his job. Also, there was Cas. Dean couldn’t get Cas out of his mind. He was there constantly. His crystal blue eyes, his dark stubble that made his lips stand out, his smile, the way his laptop bag would hit against his ass, his ass. There were so many things he liked about Cas.

“Are you even listening to me Dean.” Suddenly Dean was woken from his daydream.

“Of course I am, Jess.” Dean continued to sit on the chair at the table.

“Well, alright then. So what do you think?”

“I think it’s great.” Dean went for the safest answer. Only to find out it wasn’t.

“You think it’s great” Jess laughed out loud to the point it looked like she was laughing hysterically. “You weren’t listening to the word I was saying, were you now?” Dean looked ashamed.

“No sorry. What were you saying?” Jess had stopped laughing.

“Do you think I should wear the green dress from the time we went on that fancy double date thing or the new golden dress I brought while back.”

“What’s the occasion?”

“Dude, seriously. When did you tune out?” Jess was laughing again. “The girls are having a get together. Some fancy thing.”

“Again. Didn’t you guys have one like a month ago” Dean was confused. He was staring at Jess who just rolled her eyes.

“Yes, we did but that was before we knew Meg was pregnant. We just want to have the girls together before it’s all about the baby and who knows maybe soon I’ll be a married woman” Now it was Dean who was rolling his eyes when the realisation hit that Jess knows Meg. Meg who is married to Castiel. Happily married as Castiel liked to point out, unfortunately.

“So, yeah, how’s Meg? I know her husband, a very nice dude and also very excited about the baby” Dean tried his best to sound normal and like he didn’t care for Cas even one bit.

“She’s good. I was actually thinking that the other day, that you and Castiel should be working together.”

“Yeah, I know him a little. Nice guy. Very happy about his marriage and all.” Once again Dean tried to divert the conversation away from him and towards Meg and Castiel and the marriage between the two.

“Yeah. She’s so happy. There is just this one thing though.” Jess’ face looked worried.

“What?” Dean cried it out loud with excitement.

“How close are you with Castiel?” Jess eyed Dean.

“Not very. First week interaction only” Dean tried to stay cool through his lie. Technically it wasn’t a lie. Dean hadn’t talked to Cas since he announced about his fatherhood.

“Well, don’t tell anybody but Meg is getting her paternity test today.” Jess was whispering.

“Paternity test, what for?” Dean looked confused.

“To find out who the father is you dumb ass.” Jess was rolling her eyes again and giving Dean a cheeky smile. “Meg did sleep with someone else, accident of course, even though I don’t really get that concept. How can you sleep with someone accidentally and how”

“Jess” Dean called out loud “keep to the point, Jess”

“ou yes of course. Meg is about 95 per cent sure Cas is the father but there is that five per cent that is worrying everybody”

“And what does Cas think of it?”

“You really are a slow one, aren’t you Dean. He doesn’t know and that’s the thing. Meg doesn’t want Cas to know that she slept with someone else if he doesn’t need to”

“That’s bullshit” Dean roared out loud “Yeah it feels crap to be cheated on but every partner should know the truth. Meg has no right to keep this from Cas, even when the baby is his.” Dean wanted to make his point clear. Yes he was angry when he found out that Lisa had cheated on him but it’s better to have the truth then live in a lie. Especially Cas who is so happy in the marriage and so excited to have a baby, he should know the truth.

“You can’t tell him. I swear Dean Winchester if you even breath any of this to Castiel you’re gonna wish that you were never born.” It was fake anger on Jess’ face. Dean could tell. Even though Jess was telling him not to tell Cas, part of Jess knew that the poor bastard should know the truth. Both Dean and Jess were frightened by the ringing phone. It was Jess’ phone.

“It’ Meg” Jess walked into the bedroom she shared with Sam. Dean could very quietly hear Jess’s side of the conversation. “Hi sweetie.” There was a long pause. “Really” and the next thing Dean hear was loud screaming. “I told you, you shouldn’t worry about it. I am so happy but I have to go. Someone has to make the dinner.” Jess skipped out of the bedroom with a big smile on her face.

“Castiel is the father” left Jess’ lips. This time Dean was relieved to hear the news.  He knew how much this meant to Cas and how excited he was to be a father. At least there is something that’s going his way but he will be devastated to hear about Meg. Dean could actually see how Cas’ eyes fill with water and disappointment and how he would be there to kiss it all better. And he is going to kiss it all better when Cas’s world is crumbling down. 


	6. Fallen Ones

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been very so long since the last update but I've been so busy with assignments and exams. Here you go though. Hope you like it.

The seasons had changed. The air had turned from crispy to bitterly cold. The trees were all bare. There was no sign that leaves ever resided on those branches. Very few houses had christmas light up which made Dean sigh. Who puts Christmas lights up in November was Dean thinking. It wasn't the only thought to pass Dean’s mind. Dean’s life was pretty much the same, but maybe bit more stable. He had found his own place and was happily living on his own. He traveled to work every morning where he would greet Castiel and have a regular ‘Hi, how are you’ chat. The past few weeks Castiel had been glowing. The man was full of life. The students made sure to make most of it, after all the semester was ending. Everyone’s spirits were high.   
Dean, as usual, would walk through those heavy, wooden doors 8 o’clock on Wednesday morning. He hated Wednesday mornings. He would wake up in darkness at 7 o’clock, get his ass out of bed, and make cup of coffee. Dean’s new apartment was thirty minute drive from the university, which he regretted ever getting on every Wednesday morning. The sun would sit low while driving to college, which made Dean even more frustrated. What makes Dean even more frustrated is that after his 8 o’clock class, he has a two hour gap. Dean just hates Wednesdays and another Wednesday has arrived which Dean is forced to face.   
Dean sits at his usual coffee table, reading a newspaper on his tablet. Dean’s eyes break from the tablet when he sees Castiel enter the room. Castiel, as always looks good. He is wearing a suit today which suggests that he possibly has to be in court, at some stage. 

‘Hi Dean’ escapes the other man’s lips.

‘Hi Castiel. What’s the occasion?’ Dean asks, even though knowing the answer already. 

‘Friend needed help with a case so I’m helping him a little’ Castiel’s eyes meet Dean.

‘Anything interesting?’ Dean was looking at the other man’s tie, which was blue. It brought out Castiel’s eyes. Slowly Dean let his eyes guide him up to meet Castiel’s eyes, who was turning around and holding cup of coffee in his right hand. Dean opened his sandwich and took a bite. 

‘Well, it actually is. Organised crime. Probably going to end up in the Supreme Court’ Castiel looked excited. ‘You can help me with some of it, if you have the time. It would be good for your resume’ Cas smiled, taking sip of his coffee. ‘Wow, hot’ squinting his eyes and breathing in and out fast to cool down his mouth. 

‘Careful there, man.’ Dean smile and raising his eyebrow. 

‘Shut up’ now it was Castiel raising his eyebrow. ‘So?’ 

‘Sure yeah, I’m not that busy anyways. So, Whats the case?’ Castiel moved closer to the chair opposite Dean. Pulled the chair out and sat on it. Placed his coffee on the table and his elbows on either side of the coffee, fingers locked together. 

‘Well Dean, you know the gang Fallen Ones?’ Dean nodded and took another bite of his sandwich. ‘One of them got caught trying to kill one of their own members, who was actually trying to kill him but didn’t know.’ Dean looked up from his sandwich and cracked a smile, eyebrow raised again. ‘Anyways’ Castiel continued. ‘My buddy here is prosecutor for the case, it is a solid case but you do know gangs. They try their best to get out of it, find procedure failures and whatnot.’ Castiel looked as excited as ever. 

‘If it is a solid case, why the hell are you involved?’ Dean asked suspiciously. 

‘Good question. Like I said case is solid but… um… a piece of evidence went missing and the case should provide a conviction without it but just to be sure, we need to find something else. Anything. The fact it went missing could suggest...well… not could but probably is suggesting that the gang is going to use this as their defence. My friend is too busy with the case itself so he hired me to find anything to replace the missing evidence.’ 

‘What does anything mean? Does it mean plant evidence or go by the law and find procedure evidence?’

‘Procedure of course’ Now Castiel was the of being suspicious of Dean. ‘This case needs to stick. If we can prosecute and get a conviction then it shows that this gang isn’t invisible’ Castiel continued with a suspicious look while taking another sip of his coffee. 

‘Sure yeah but they are’ Dean spurred the words out without even thinking twice. Dean could feel embarrassment coming over his face. 

‘Dean!’ Castiel called Dean out defensively. ‘If you don’t want to work on this case I’m not forcing you’ Dean could hear a bit of anger in Cas’ voice. A man who is usually so calm and collective. Maybe this is how Cas is when he is in the court room. Dominant and in control. That’s probably what make’s him good at his job. 

‘I’m sorry. Of course I want to be part of it.’ Dean apologised and tried to put on his puppy eyes just like his brother does. By the look of Cas’ expression, he looked confused.

‘What are you doing?’ asked Cas with confusion all over his face.

‘Puppy eyes. You know, forgive me and I’m sorry. I’m a dumb-ass’ Dean gave Cas a little smile. Castiel rose from his chair. Took his coffee and threw it into the trash can.

‘Well don’t ever do it again. You look like you are constipated or something.’ said Castiel while walking out of the room. Castiel stopped and looked back, ‘ Meet me at my office at the end of the day, let’s say at six, alright?’ Dean nodded and Cas gave Dean a wink and left the room. Dean froze. Well this is gonna be interesting Dean thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like slow build but I promise next chapter is going to be a bigger build up than the earlier chapter and this chapter. ;)


End file.
